Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Just Simply BE Yourself

There are 2 words that I will never be able to enjoy in this life. EVER. And those two words, my friends are right up there with Satan and hate. Those gruesome words being at the top of my list of words I hate (haha, see the irony here) are the two words of "actor's" and "homework". Whenever I think of those two words together it's like a car crash inside of my brain. The screeching wheels, screaming and well... either serious injury or dying. Take your pick. As much as I love Broberg, I wish that acting wasn't such a hard thing to be committed to. I love it so much and after yesterday's lesson and lecture, I remember why I've kept acting as long as I have. When you get to the point of BEING the character rather than ACTING the character, then you start to solve things up. As Broberg would say, you have to get buried into that deep pit of old memories that you aren't accustomed to handling anymore. They've been shoved away and put into the deep dark depths of your mind to forever and always STAY there. Nope, not when you're with Agnes. She'll dig through your subconcious and pull them right out of there no matter how hard you try to rip them out of her hands and shove them back in. Ladies and gentlemen, Agnes Broberg will literally take that bottom filing cabinet with all the messy stuff in it (you know the one with all the greasy papers and the old food and crap that you're not strong enough to clean out because the smell and horrible-ness of it is too awful?) and turn it upside down and dump it all out into your brain. This speaking metaphorically of course. Not only is it messy, but it gets bad and feelings come out and turn people and bring out emotions in people that are UNREAL. It's absolutely (I can't believe I'm saying this).... Incredible.

I remember during Fiddler there were so many things I loved about it but the one thing that always made me feel the best (and the worst) at the same time, was the despair and roller coaster of emotion that I felt as I WAS Chava. Not acting as Chava would, but BEING Chava. I can definitely tell you that I've never been disowned by my family, nor have I ever (or wanted to) run away from home to be with someone else, BUT I have felt the depression and the heartache enough to pull it out and use that emotion. BEING Chava was something so UNREAL that it became real. Which leads me to my next topic: Relate this to yourself. Some of you may not know what it's like to be onstage, let alone being some one/thing totally and completely different than what you are. You can relate this to yourself people! It's just like being yourself.

Put it into perspective. Wait, or are you not understanding how this could possibly relate to you stage-deprived people? Or even you stage-junkies??? You don't get it either? Well, let me elaborate for you. A lot of people, especially in this day and age, are always asking "who am I?" "What would I normally do?" "What am I supposed to do with my life?" These existential questions can never truly be answered by anybody but yourself and the people that are around you 24/7 (and maybe God ;) ) All of these questions can be answered to some point but not always fully, that's for sure. You get going on "who you are" and then you end and when you can't think of anything else, you still just are not simply satisfied with the novel that you've just written inside yourself. My point is, just like BEING the characters, we should stop trying to act like ourselves and just BE ourselves. It's really just as easy as that. We just make it appear harder than it seems to be. Your heart knows exactly who you are, but your brain makes you think about it too much and then you lose that self-esteem and actually start caring about what other people think, I mean, what kind of person does that? (like everybody in the entire planet). All I'm saying is that in order to get the full effect out of life (just like on stage) you just have to be yourself and stop trying to ACT like yourself. So if you're going to take anything from this post, take and remember this. Stop trying to ACT and just BE. It's as easy as that.

I can't exactly say much because I do it all the time, but I know that if we think too much about our futures and what's ahead, rather then what's right in front of us, here and now! It's a complete pain but it's completely easier to think of 10 years ahead rather than next week or tomorrow, or even the next hour that's approaching. In order to get to the then we have to get through the now. Bummer, I've gotta stop making plans for the future! Wrong-o! I heard this quote the other day and it say "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I think I've said enough on that topic. Just don't think too hard about being yourself. It's naturally second nature to you so stop thinking about it and get on with your life!


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